


a dog has fallen into the river in lego city

by lydiaaaa



Category: the dogs are going feral
Genre: I hate myself, Other, PLEASE END ME, also i was asked to do this, basically i just wrote this cause i felt like it, i wish god would strike me down, i’m so fucking hilarious huh, the daily life of maggie the dog, why did I write this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:26:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26311108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lydiaaaa/pseuds/lydiaaaa
Summary: i wrote a shitty fanfic about my friends dog and i really regret my decision to do it
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	1. day one: i gas my entire family

**Author's Note:**

> ariel i hate you why are you making me write this

day one:

4:03 am

this morning i woke up and screamed at the toilet. my full unbridled rage was directed at the ghastly thing. then father came and yelled at me to be quiet. that made me quite depressed so i drank the toilet water to calm my nerves. i then laid down on my measly peasant bed in the bathroom and stared sadly at the door waiting for ariel to come and set me free.

6:34 am

EHHEHRHRHRBBRJDNDJJDJDJSJW I CAN HEAR THEM GETTING UP. THEY WILL LET ME FREE SOON. PUT ON YOUR CLOTHES FASTER YOU HAIRLESS MONKEY. SIDKTNJRNEHEHSHHEHWJSHEHENNENE THEYRE COMING MY WAY THEYRE OPENING THE DOOR *slaps walls with tail aggressively* KDNSBWHEJSIKFKKEJEJE *aggresive smiling and panting* *head tilt* okay now to take a massive dump in the backyard and gas my family :).

6:46 am

FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD I LOVE THIS STUFF ILL NEVER GET OVER THE TASTE OF THIS. I CANNOT BELIEVE THEY HAVE GIVEN ME THE SAME FOOD FOR EIGHT YEARS. WHAT A GIFT. THANKS SANTA

7:02 am

they let me return to the outside world so i’ve decided to eat my second breakfast which is some lovely rocks. i also peed and now there is a puddle the size of a small lake. wonder if they’ll let me drink it. okay time to go inside now. *feet clack on hardwood floor* man chewing on these couch legs. *chefs kiss* the flavor :)

7:15 am

NONONONO FATHER AND HAIRLESS MONKEY ARE LEAVING ME IM GONNA COMMIT SCOOTER ANKLE JDNSBEBDJDJRJRI FATHER NO I DONT EVEN LIKE HAIRLESS MONKEY. THEY SUCK AND YELLS AND YELLS AT ME. I CAN TELL AT LEAST FATHER LOVES ME

10:27 am 

currently drinking some high quality tap water and i honestly can’t believe that they locked me in the dastardly kitchen. the scoundrels. i can’t believe momma left me to go to whatever her job is. come back i wanna eat your hair father. i want to drool all over the floor when you come back. pls father. pls mother. am sad :(

1:39 pm

F A T H E R H A S R E T U R N E D

he is watching tv now pls play with me father

stop playing forknife dad i’ll kick you

3:47 pm

hairless monkey is back. ew. at least they brought momma with them. i love you momma <3

they won’t let me eat their food an i am R I O T I N G

SPAGHET LET ME HAVE

7:18 pm

the hairless monkey has decided to shower for once in their life. i hope they know that they smell real bad :(. you dirty little asscrack. please bathe more often. i beg you

10:28 pm

sleepy time

oh no i farted :( 

i gassed myself on accident. well i better try to go back to sleep. i need to get up early tomorrow to cry at the bathroom door and wait for father to come greet me with his yells


	2. special edition: maggie’s character ratings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aye it’s been a little bit but i finally updated this absolute train wreck of a fanfiction. kinda glad i did this because it makes my friends and i laugh really hard. yeah yeah i know i’m hILARIOUS i know. anyways here is chapter 2 of this shitty fanfic.

henlo friends today i will be reviewing members of my household. i know it has been too long but hairless monkey has been mean 2 me and they suk.

first we will be reviewing father.  
okay so father is super mean to me but i know that’s only because the sounds of my nightly toilet howls are so beautiful that it makes him so happy that he’s mad. f a t h a r i w u v y o u jfjensnsnakkKRNRNDNSJKEKRJFJJDJW i would do anything for this man including eating my own doodoo (i already do this anyways but it’s the thought that counts). the only thing i do not appreciate about father is that he won’t stop playing forknife. i long to kick him in the shin for this but it would only fuel his rage and lead him to mercilessly murder the nasties on the magic slab (just been notified that the magic slab is called a tv). i would rate him 8.7/10

next i will be reviewing mother.  
i love mother because she doesn’t hate me as much as the others in my house do. (frick u hairless monkey). she is nice to me most of the time and i love her pets even though she does not give them often. i have a feeling i am her least favorite. i do believe that her son wrench or something is her favorite (been informed his name is parts. still going to call him wrench). i will beat his skull into the pavement to be her favorite. only problem with this plan is that bella would be her favorite and not me. i wish to duel but am unable to harm a hair on her dumb head. anyways would rate mother 8/10

next we have hairless monkey (aka ariel but they do not deserve their name because they smell like bad noodles). they can suck my nonexistent dog penis. they are mean to me and i h8 them for it. i wish satan would drag them down into the depths of hell faster. i shall now list all the ways i wish for them to be out of my life.  
drowning, death by fire, stabbed with a ruler, tripping over my tail into a meat grinder that is conveniently located so i can turn them into a hotdog, poisoned, suffocation, heart failure, cancer, disease, being slowly drained of their blood by a hot vampire, being eaten alive, lung failure, liver failure, just any organ in their body failing, and sacrifice to the peanut god Steven. would rate her. -170000000/10

next we have the dumb guinea pigs (aka future snacks)  
they’re alright but i think they’d be better in my stomach. mmmmmmmmm tastey guinea ham. 9/10 if hairless monkey would let me eat them.

alright now we have wrench. he may be my brother but i wish him a slow death by fire. he may also suck my non existent dog penis. i wish to be mother’s favorite but he’s a dirty attention hog and he smells like broccoli that’s been used as a buttplug. i h8 him but he is far better than hairless monkey. would rate 3/10

next we have dumbass bella. i love her but you may NEVER tell her this. she does suck sometimes but only because she’s also a dirty attention hog. she smells like a wet dog half the time but she is by far the best smelling. again, NEVER TELL HER THIS OR I WILL GAS YOU HARDER THAN NAZI GERMANY. would rate 12/10 lovely stupid ass sister

finally we have the miscellaneous fish in the background of the living room. best things i’ve ever met. would give my firstborn child to them just cause would rate 1200000000000000/10

anyways thank you for tuning in for this chapter. i hate you all and wish you would die in a horrible fire.

MDMFNENNDNMWNRMEMEMMMDEKKGOFKDKEKKFKDKSJEJJFJFJDKDKFKFKDKKRKDKFKFKFKKEK *key smashes in unbridled rage* JDJRNTNWOWOROORKNQBSBBXBDNWJWIAAJQKWL

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay i’m definitely going to write more next chapter. i’m still getting the hang of this “writing more than 600 words at one time” thing lmao. i know there are like a total of 5 people who actually read this by i am really great full for all of you. y’all make me laugh tbh. <3

**Author's Note:**

> i actually had a lot of fun writing this but i literally am so sorry. i’m not very good at writing i just think that this would be funny and also ariel asked me to write a fanfic about her dogs. i think i’ll do some more chapter for bella and parts but we’ll have to see


End file.
